Pleasing people: Admirable trait or future downfall?

“It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.” ~Sophia Loren

I found this quote recently and it about summed up all my current thoughts.



Recently I’ve been evaluating my life, what I have/haven’t done, what I want to do/don’t want to do and I’ve come to a revelation: Within my life there are very few if any experiences that I’ve said “Sarah, that was probably the wrong decision.” I’m not saying I’ve always made perfect choices, but I have always done, for the most part, the “right” thing. This is great right? Well after thinking about it I realized why I always made the “right, responsible” choice; it was because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I’m a people pleaser. To have someone look at with and think “What is she doing?” kills me. Being conscious of other people is great, but when you’ve taken other peoples opinions in too much, it’s a little disheartening. I’m not saying I want to go out and become a disappointment or make bad decisions, but I have been thinking about focusing more on what I want at that moment in time. Staying up all night, watching trashy shows, even though I have work early the next morning? Sounds great! Of course I know with “living in the moment” comes with future consequences but I think I’m finally ready to accept them.

I’m in the mood for some change! Yes… I said change. Normally a dirty little word that I dreaded in my vocabulary, now something I’m ready to accept, at least for a little bit. I’m ready to do things on impulse, give up a little responsibility, take a breath, and enjoy the life I’m living now. I know this is a little backwards. “Weren’t you supposed to have need back in high school?” Probably, but I was, again, too concerned with what people would think. I’m ready to give up that self-consciousness and do what I want! It’s such a liberating experience. Now I know I wont be able to give up all my responsible characteristics but I'm looking forward to this new adventuresome future!

Look forward to future stories!

Have any of you ever had similar thoughts? Do you always play it a little too safe? Or is it the opposite and you think I'm crazy for doing this? Let me know

Always remember: Nothing but love!

Love and friendships

Losing A Best Friend

Most people love to think that even though a relationship ends, the friendships stays. But we all know that this isn't always true. Maybe eventually, a friendship will be able to form again, but it's hard to go from romantic relationship to friendship without one or both people thinking the friendship is more or less that it is.

So my question is, do you think that your significant other should be your best friend? If asked before recent events, I would of said without a doubt, yes! But thinking back, making that person your new best friends also may result in losing of your other friends. Another factor is what happens when that romantic relationship ends? You are not only losing a romantic partner but your best friend. Which to me, is almost worst than the romantic partner. That person you call when great and terrible things happen, the person you have gotten in the habit of telling everything to all of a sudden ends. Its a shock. I've lucky never experienced a horrible friendship break up, but I wonder if it feels the same as breaking up with a significant other who was also your best friend.

Is having your boyfriend/girlfriend as your number one friend worth the hurt of maybe losing your best friend? Or is it even possible to have a great romantic relationship without that deep, true friendship? I'm so torn on the subject. It's hard for me to imagine a long lasting relationship without a deep friendship, but I hate losing best friends because the relationship didn't work. But isn't that one of the great things about relationships? Always having a best friend there for you? I'd really be interested in hearing what people have to say.

Also, can you truly go from a deep romantic relationship to just friends? Its a horrible thing to think about. Being such great friends with a person and to have all that go away just because the relationship ended? It's awful. But is it possible to be just friends with an ex? Will all those romantic feelings just magically go away?

Just some random thoughts for now, leave a comment and tell me how you feel! I'd love to know!

Until next time,
Nothing but love

Poetry to my soul

So just to mix it up a little, I thought I'd include some of my poetry on here. It's nothing special, more cathartic than anything. Enjoy

The Journey of a Broken Heart

A heart breaks and so many feelings are felt.

Love, anger, sorrow, disappointment.

The emotions you can’t control; that come streaming out of you at any moment.

A memory, a look, a familiar road, all trigger these emotions.

One minute you’re fine, enjoying the beautiful, wonderful new world you’ve been brought into.

A world where you can be free and return to yourself.

The person you use to be.

The next, your crying tears of hate and sadness; tears that never seem to stop.

Tears then when put under a microscope could explain so much.

So much hurt and reject that it takes over the scope, enveloping you within it.

Lives that were twisted together so tight, it was hard to see the difference

Now are lying on the floor, wrenched and ragged and utterly exhausted.

Then one moves.

It slowly, but surely moves on, while the other is left lying dead.

So broken that it never knows if it can be repaired.

Left to stay in that state till something has enough heart to fix it.

When that miracle comes along, don’t let go of it.

Cherish and embrace it.

Praise it for its heart and strength

Then get back to it, and be yourself again.

Remember the past as only a memory, neither great nor horrible

Just something that happened that gave you the experiences you had today.

The feeling of moving on will surely come to you too

And when it does, live in it.

Young Girl

Lost wondering a young girl looks for help
But her small, contained world sees no end
No sign to show her safety
Of what she fears
Wanting to speak, but no words can escape
That hold placed here
Regret, that’s all she feels
For the choices that lead her here
World titled around, like a snowglobe
That contains her
Trying to break the glass, but to no avail
Round and round she goes
Playing with her tears
Falls upon an answer
But skins her knee
There is always something she must give
To find her peace
Some blood
A friend
Anything she can mistreat
Wondering where her life has gone, she sits an ponders in the snow
Reminiscing about the times when she would glow
Shaken up in this trap of solitude
Fearing the worst, she thinks it through in her head
The consequences of these thoughts scare her
But the thought of her not, scares her more
We will never know what will become of her
She has gone away
To find an adventure
One she doesn’t fear.

Hope doesnt wait

You get my hopes up
You lead me astray
You’ll say ill be there for you
Then one day
Gone
Don’t give me false hopes
Your leading me on
This harmless game your playing
Just wont work
I’m over the nights where I sit by my computer and wait
I see you having fun
Enjoying you time
As you let the clock tick
Past the time
The time where you promised you’d be there for me
The time you said you’d sure be there
I cant stand this feeling you know
Its drives me crazy from my head to my toes
Im through waiting
Never again will I
Never again…will I wait for you.

Honesty: Truth, Lies, and Liberation

Why Hello again!

Do people actually read this? Meh I guess its not really for you guys anyways! :) haha

Well lets see this weeks topic: Honesty

I'm reading Maya Angelou's Letters To My Daughters (great book by the way). Well in it, she discusses many important little life lessons and one that stuck with me was the one about the truth. She gives an example in her book where she states that no one really expects a true response from the question "How are you?" They expect the generic "I'm fine, and you?" Dr. Angelou says "I wish we could stop the little lies. I dont mean that one has to be brutally frank. I don't believe that we should be brutal about anything, however, it is wonderfully liberating to be honest"

These words hit home for me. Within the past couple years, I've come to realize that one trait I strong value is honesty. I don't care if the truth hurts, I want to know it. It saves me time wondering, is this what s/he really means or is there something else behind it? I'm sick of playing games, and I'm tired of those people who think they are fun. They aren't! I've never been a fan of games, board games or otherwise, and I don't want to start now. You like me? Tell me! You think that I'm fake? Just let me know if you must! I value those who tell me the truth, even if it hurts, more than those who are nice and fake to me. Like Dr. Angelou said, its wonderfully liberating to be honest. Now of course, I'm not perfect, so I cant state that I never lie, but I really try to avoid it.

These past couple of years I have learned how lies can hurt and how one lie turns into another and another. I've always had trust issues, mainly in my relationships with boyfriends. I don't know where this has stemmed from. I haven't had one of those horrific experiences where I've been lied to for years but I have felt the hurt of lies. Lies because they didn't want me to be mad. Lies because they didn't want to hurt me. Lies because they didn't care about me. These are the types of the lies that hurt the most. I don't think anyone truly knows the repercussions of they're lie. How many people it effects.

So just try it. Try being honest with someone. Again, this doesn't mean you have to be rude, but tell it like it is. You don't like the way someone does something? Tell them. You want to tell someone they are wrong? Do it! But do it in a way that isn't harsh, but doesn't conceal the truth. It feels great.

Truth takes courage, which is another thing Dr. Angelou thinks everyone should have. You can do anything with courage; pair that with honesty and nothing can stop you.

Till Next Time:
Nothing but love